garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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