Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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