guys are not supposed to queef...right?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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