I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
