you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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