I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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