I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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