I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
