I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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