dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
