i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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