and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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