my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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