i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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