For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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