these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
