Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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