I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
