hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Boobs speak an international language.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
