once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize