Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
