we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
