I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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