I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
50% drunk capacity currently
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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