Yo dont text me then not text me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
