then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
