I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Is it because I queefed?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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