You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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