he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
