After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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