your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
