we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
