I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
