If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
