Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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