You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
