Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
