I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
