whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
