I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
