yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
