Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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