No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
