Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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