break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
