I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
A bitchslap is in order.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
