She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
