I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
