OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I have demons in me.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
