I hate your face
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I believe in your delicious
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
