as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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