just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
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