Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
